Posts tagged ‘women’

A Woman’s Poem

Okay, it’s been 8,000,000 years since I posted anything, and I have all these old jokes sitting in my in box, so I thought I’d torture you with them.


Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

Pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh send a king to make me queen.

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And relish visits with my mother.



I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with

big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.

French Government Wants Women to Stop Smoking During Oral Sex

Okay, you knew I’d eventually dig up something like this…

The Daily Squib

February 27th, 2010
by Gibb Mehed

Ooh la la!

PARIS – France – The French government has commissioned an advertising campaign to highlight the dangers of smoking whilst performing fellatio.

The ad, which aired on Tuesday night shocked the French nation.

“It showed a young lady smoking a cigarette in front of a man’s crotch. She just smoked, and smoked and smoked. People were so disgusted at this that complaints jammed the switchboards to the French Advertising Complaints Board,” Jacques Le Pipe, told Le Monde newspaper.

The French government have been trying to avert the terrible problem of French women who are so bored at performing the daily French ritual of fellatio that they routinely have to smoke during the procedure.

fumer le cigare”

Sexy woman smoking“I myself have been affected by this atrocity. She was an intern in the Ministry — been there only a week. I unzipped and let it out in deep anticipation of the delights that awaited me from her moist pert lips, when she took out a box of Gitanes, calmly picked one out, looked up at me and started to smoke. I was so appalled I called for security and they kindly removed the young lady from my office. Last I heard, she is now working in a dog food factory somewhere in Calais,” Jean Baptiste, the Minister of the Interior told Le Monde.

Other members of the French parliament like French president, Nicolas Sarkozy said yesterday that he had not, as yet, had a problem with Carla. This is possibly due to the president’s weak ticker and his physician’s advice to not get too excited anymore or risk immediate death.

Where’s Bill Clinton and his cigar when you need him?

Home Improvements and Why Women Live Longer Than Men