Posts Tagged ‘tax’

Cigarette Smokers Infinitely More Stupid Than Pipe Smokers

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

There is an image of pipe smokers being overly educated, erudite, snobs. Well, the truth is that we just look that way because cigarette smokers are often more mentally stunted than us. I’m not smart, but check out these examples of cigarette stupidity.

These two pictures are packages opened in Customs and intercepted by the Postal Inspection Service. They were imported to get around state and Federal Taxes. Busted, busted, busted.

FW_ Picture_Page_2_Image_0001 FW_ Picture_Page_1_Image_0001

Okay, that may be a little harsh. I mean, that’s just one person importing cigarettes illegally, and probably planning to resell them at a profit.

But, then again, check out these bizarre inventions by cigarette smokers.

Rainy Day Cigarette Holder, 1954

Rainy Day Cigarette Holder, 1954

President of Zeus Corp., Robert L. Stern, smoking a cigarette from his self-designed rainy day cigarette holder.

Photo: YALE JOEL
Mar 01, 1954

Would it work in Washington state when it rains sideways?

Cigarette Pack Holder

Cigarette Pack Holder, 1955

Photo: Jacobsen/Getty Images
Jan 01, 1955

Look ma! Lung cancer in one smoke.

Cigarette Holder Built For Two, 1955

Photo: Jacobsen/Getty Images
Jan 01, 1955

God, that’s romantic.

Outwest Tobacco Customer Appreciation Discount Program

Monday, April 13th, 2009

OutwestTobacco.com is where I get my pipe tobacco from (bulk, Lane Ltd., BC-A, hint, hint). They sell pipes, accessories, and of course tobacco. And more!

I gotta tell you, I’ve been doing business with them for years. One of the things I like best is that they offer small sample packages (1 oz.) so you can try different tobaccos. Gene’s also nice enough to do business with over the phone. I once ordered the wrong size Peterson pipe and they replaced it quickly with no hassle.

I’ve linked to them in a number of places throughout this blog.

As the price of tobacco goes up, Outwest Tobacco has launched a Customer Appreciation Discount Program. Gene explains it better than I do, so here’s the progam.

April 7, 2009

Our recent price increases were necessary not only because of the increase in the Federal Tobacco Tax but also because of the additional cost passed on to us from most suppliers. 

We did a thorough review of our prices and operating costs and we were surprised at the amount of increase we had to make on some tobaccos. Ultimately, it is you, our valued customer that pays most of the price and tax increase. Note that pipe and accessory prices did not go up, they are not subject to the Federal Tobacco taxes.

And so it is timely that we have implemented our Customer Appreciation Discount Program. You might call it a
“Tax Rebate”.

Here’s how it works:

When you have purchased $100.00 worth of tobacco, pipes or accessories from Outwest Tobacco, the Discount Program kicks in. The Discount you will automatically receive on your next purchase, after reaching $100.00, will be 3% of that purchase amount, before shipping and handling. This Discount immediately reduces the amount paid by you, whether by credit card or check. It’s all programmed into our system and in effect right now.

From the customer history records we have kept since 2005 we have the total amount of product purchased by you, our valued customer. A bracket system has been established with 8 levels of increasing Discount Percents. The more you have bought, the higher the Discount Percent. When you have purchased $100.00 worth of product; tobacco, pipes, accessories, a Discount of 3% will be automatically applied to your next purchase.

For our loyal customers it gets even better. If you have already purchased from Outwest Tobacco, going back to 2005, say $310.00, the discount on your next purchase will be 5% of that purchase. The next bracket is $500.00 and the Discount there is 6%. The highest Discount is 10%.

Bottom line for you is, we are reducing the cost of your purchases from us with this Customer Appreciation Discount Program.

This is our way of saying…
“Thank You for being a loyal customer, we appreciate it when you come back.”
Gene A Crawford
www.outwesttobacco.com