Posts tagged ‘postal’

Still On Admin

Well, since the “doorbell” incident at the end of April, I’m still on Administrative Leave. I know I should be worried, but the truth is, getting a postal employee canned is virtually impossible. I’m not even close to the MSRB (Military Service Review Board) stage.

NAPS logo My NAPS (National Association of Postal Supervisors) rep didn’t even interview me before we went into the II (Investigative Interview).

He went into the II thinking I had been escorted out of the station by postal inspectors (I was not), a Threat Assessment had been done (it wasn’t), and that the video showed me breaking the doorbell (it didn’t), and the proper protocols had been used. This would have been:

1. Notification via certified mail to my postal address on record (nope).
2. Phone notice to my postal phone number on record (nope again).

I’m not sure why I even have NAPS. I didn’t join for more than a decade. The trigger was when I was using my walker at work, and I swear to god, the OIC said, “Uh, I don’t want to get up in your business, but I noticed a disability tag in your car. Are you handicapped?”

Off Road Walker

“Nope, I just use this baby for swampin’.”

Ever had one of those moments where you’re so dumbfounded that you’re rendered speechless? I’m one of the snarkiest people you’ll ever meet, but c’mon… I looked down at my walker, and then looked back at him. Much later, I thought of all the retorts I could’ve shot back.

“No, my walker and wheelchair are fashion accessories.”
“Actually this is pet walker. I call him Wheelie.”

Man, you can imagine all the comebacks I could’ve used but wow! I grant you, it probably one of the dumbest OIC’s I ever worked with, but still. He used to send District emails with horrible grammar and spelling. We supes used to send them to each other because they were hilarious. And a year later, he lost all of the Amazon business once he became the postmaster of Bellevue, and he got caught with thousands of delayed packages just sitting in his station.

Anyway, at that point, I realized that upper upper management’s collective IQ had decreased to where joining a “union” was desperately necessary. If you can’t figure out that handicap license plates and the guy using a walker or wheelchair is handicapped, then your operating on such a low level, you probably have to work to remember to breathe, eat, and all the other functions used in our lower brain stems to control bodily needs.

So, where was I? Oh, yeah…belonging to NAPS is as effective as someone breaking into your house, and while you don’t really own a gun, you yell “I have a gun!” It’s like, “Don’t fuck with me! I have NAPS!

In case you didn’t know or understand, after my first week off, all my Admin Leave has been paid. Which means the PO is picking up the tab while I watch DVD’s, catch up on my reading, and get household projects done that I’ve been putting off for years.

Stamp with monkey on tricycleThe PO doesn’t get revenue from your taxes, just your postage; so your taxes aren’t paying for me kicking back and putting my feet up. Just that stamp on your envelope.

And I’m not alone. The PO does stuff like this for thousands of people every year. It’s not like they’re on welfare or drawing unemployment. The PO is just happy getting people like me out of their hair by paying them to stay home and eventually not getting fired.

It’s this kind of management strategy is why the PO is bleeding money like a stuck pig.

Now please excuse me. I’m going to go watch some anime while getting paid $28.17 an hour and dicking around all day.

Good lord…the USPS is doomed.

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Starting The Show

Well, it’s my first day starting the show (opening the station) in almost 6 months. I’m rusty as hell, and am fighting the urge to get there a half hour early. The last time I screwed up, they gave me an awesome job change. I’m afraid if I screw up this time, they’ll give me my career goal of sitting in a dark office counting paperclips.

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Watchya’ been doin?’

Yeah, yeah. I disappeared of of the face of the earth for a while. Probably just making a drive-by at the moment.

If you didn’t know, I’m bipolar, and there’s a bunch of stuff that comes with it. My medication usually works well, but it occasionally doesn’t work as well as it usually does. When that happens, well, all sorts of things happen.

nimrod I should have known it was coming. I started obsessing over a single thing: Nimrod lighters. I ended up with more material than I could ever use for an article, then lost interest.

Then social networking started to feel more like work than fun. Facebook, MySpace, even semi-social networks like YouTube and Flickr felt like it required dragging myself to the computer. I’ve never been totally social, but this was like shutting down.

Then I went through a spree of compulsive spending. I had to have all these antique lighters, and they had to have a distinctive set of rules before I would buy them.

I got on top of that, albeit a bit too late for my credit card, but remember that I mentioned that the selection of lighters needed a distinctive set of rules? Then I started obsessively organizing and compartmentalizing. I spent hours reorganizing file systems on my computer for no good reason, other than I wanted it organized in some specific way.

deviantARTThen I made the mistake of hanging out on deviantART. I started obsessively collecting, again, a distinctive type of art. Then I spent weeks organizing what I had downloaded.

These are soothing activities that keep me feeling safe, but they have become intrusive, affecting a lot of my life. So I’ve been struggling to keep it under control. I’ve got a week off, a week back at work, then two more weeks off, since I always take Halloween off. I’ve done more on the yard in two days, than I’ve done all summer, and I’ve got a bunch of other things done that I’ve been neglecting.

Oh, and I’m specifically Bipolar II, which means instead of manic manic highs, I get really irritable and cranky. And I have a bitch of a new boss. We call her The Gargoyle. So you can imagine what our working relationship has been like, although I have gotten off some of the best zingers recently.

We were at a staff meeting. I tend to have a dry sense of wit, so I’ll say something that will take a minute for it to sink into someone’s brain. We have a supervisor named Phil who really was confused by me for a long time, and then he started laughing, and, I swear, telling jokes. Anyway, the topic of Phil comes up in the meeting, and I look over at Phil and say, “And Phil even grew a sense of humor.” And while everyone was still laughing, I turned to The Gargoyle and said, “So there’s still hope for you.”

And to keep a long story short, she managed to drive through  own garage door the other day.  I swear, it’s true. So her car ends up in the shop. Later, we get in a heated, uh, disagreement over an issue, and I invoke the OIG and my attorney, so you can imagine how loving our relationship was after that.

Later, at closing, she calls me up on the intercom to yap at me about this and that, and then she asks, “Oh, would you give me a ride home?”

“Has Hell frozen over?”

“I was just kidding (with no kidding in her voice)! I’d ask 500 people for a ride before I’d ever ask you!”

“And you’d be lucky if any of those 500 people said yes.”

“You are so rude!”

“And your point is?”

Yeah, nothing but fun at the ol’ postal service… And you should hear my employees say about her. I am absolutely obscene but there’s even some things I won’t repeat. That’s how bad it is.

Anyway, I’m still not all that ready to pop back into the social network scene, and I do have odds and ends to do. I have to fix my stuck garage door, download new firmware for my Omnia and see if I can get it’s internal GPS unlocked, fix a running toilet (where’s it running to?), clean out the garage (yeah, right), and start setting up for Halloween.

I’ll start posting stuff that I haven’t gotten to for a while.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with this thought:

Pipes and Rabbits

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Worked to Death

dead tiredSorry I haven’t been around lately, but work is trying it’s best to kill me. I’ve been working 3 days weeks now, 6 days a week, 12-13 hours. I wake up confused, trying to remember if I’m waking up to go to work, waking up from a nap and have to go back to work, or just waking up from a nap. One more week to go like this. Hell, half the time I don’t know what day it is.

Doing the work of  3 people, on of whom never finished their critical paperwork, and I can’t find it, and a dozen departments are demanding it on a deadline.

Also found out that headquarters thinks I don’t exist, except to pay me and take money out of my pay. Locally they lost all my information (assholes), so there was nothing to send up to HQ when they centralized there.

God, I love my job. I’m gonna need a week straight of therapy after all this.

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Can a Lighter Be Sent By Mail?

Thought I’d do a simple post today.

Yes, a Zippo or refillable butane lighter can be sent through the mail. Here’s how to do it:

  • Make sure the lighter has no fluid in it. With a Zippo or similar liquid fuel lighter, open the lighter and let the fuel evaporate. This may take two or three days, depending on how full the lighter is when you start. Remove the flint.
  • If it’s a butane lighter, hold down the button you use to light the lighter just a little bit. Don’t actually light the lighter. You should hear the butane hissing out. Keep going until you hear the lighter quit hissing but keep the button down for another 30 seconds. Butane is under pressure, but some low pressure butane may be still leaking out. If there’s a flint in your lighter, remove it.
  • Post Office: If you’re shipping the lighter at the counter with the window clerk, they’ll ask you “Does this contain anything liquid, hazardous, flammable…” you can honestly say no. You don’t have to declare it’s a lighter unless you’re shipping it overseas or Registered. If it’s an expensive lighter, I’d suggest sending it Registered, not Certified. Registered Mail goes straight into a vault, and is transfered through the Postal Service under lock and key until it gets to it’s destination. I’d also suggest sending it Insured. It doesn’t cost that much. Using one or the other, you can verify delivery of the lighter when it reaches it’s destination. If you use Express, it’s trackable through the entire process and is automatically insured for a $100. If it’s value is more than $100, you can always add additional insurance.
  • If you choose to use another evil, sucky shipping service, follow their guidelines for shipping requirements.

Hope that helps!

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