Posts tagged ‘inspection service’

Cigarette Smokers Infinitely More Stupid Than Pipe Smokers

There is an image of pipe smokers being overly educated, erudite, snobs. Well, the truth is that we just look that way because cigarette smokers are often more mentally stunted than us. I’m not smart, but check out these examples of cigarette stupidity.

These two pictures are packages opened in Customs and intercepted by the Postal Inspection Service. They were imported to get around state and Federal Taxes. Busted, busted, busted.

FW_ Picture_Page_2_Image_0001 FW_ Picture_Page_1_Image_0001

Okay, that may be a little harsh. I mean, that’s just one person importing cigarettes illegally, and probably planning to resell them at a profit.

But, then again, check out these bizarre inventions by cigarette smokers.

Rainy Day Cigarette Holder, 1954

President of Zeus Corp., Robert L. Stern, smoking a cigarette from his self-designed rainy day cigarette holder.

Photo: YALE JOEL
Mar 01, 1954

Would it work in Washington state when it rains sideways?

Cigarette Pack Holder, 1955

Photo: Jacobsen/Getty Images
Jan 01, 1955

Look ma! Lung cancer in one smoke.

Cigarette Holder Built For Two, 1955

Photo: Jacobsen/Getty Images
Jan 01, 1955

God, that’s romantic.

Not Meant For The Mail Followup

Remember when I told you that you should never mail things that you probably don’t want to get into trouble for?

Well, it turns out the package contained drugs. Not just any drugs, but heroin. I contacted the DEA and Inspection Service when we got the package. A drug sniffing dog verified the contents.

The day of delivery, the postal inspectors determined the normal time the mail would be delivered, which was about 2:00 pm. They showed up around 11:30, and started getting ready. It looked like a party was going on in our parking lot, with about 20 people hanging out, yakking to each other. They were all dressed in civvies, and I thought, “This is it?”

All was fun and games until it started to get around 1:30. At this point, flack jackets, automatic weapons, and a battering ram all emerged. It looked like Inspection Service, DEA, state troopers, and maybe the FBI were all involved. The postal inspector borrowed a uniform and one of our trucks. After this was all said and done, off they went.

About two hours later most of the folks came back, and ditched their work gear, and took off. The postal inspectors hung out for a while processing paperwork.

I finally had to ask, “Well, did you get him?” My terse answer was, “Yeah, we got him.” I was afraid to pry for more details.

So ends the saga of the mystery package.

Some Things Are Not Meant To Be Sent In The Mail

You know it’s a bad thing when you have two Federal agencies looking for a package sent to┬ásomeone’s house. The DEA and Inspection Service are looking for a specific package. Can’t say who or what, but someone should’ve considered a different shipping service. I’ll let you know if this resolves itself…