JackTales

As you know, there are fewer and fewer pipe smokers. This can be explained using correlations.

First, 100% of all people eating carrots have died, or will die at some point.

There is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

And after much mulling over the subject, there appears to be a sharp decline in pipe smokers beginning in the 1970’s, about the same time that microwave ovens became available to the general public.

Therefore: Carrots cause death, the decrease in pirates causes global warming, and microwaves explain the decline in pipe smoking.

Another great Saturday. 3 1/2 routes down. Looks like I get to drive to the plant again.

This week we had a vehicle accident. One of our vehicles was struck by a woman driving through a red light because she was loopy from a dentist appointment. Fortunately, she was charged for the accident.

Also had an Express failure. It’s been a rough week.

My wife has a doc appointment Thursday, so I’m working Monday, which is usually my day off, and taking Thursday off.

On the really grim side, today is my evil cat’s birthday. Zoe is a terror, and her litter sister actually gave someone a nervous breakdown. Zoe is one of these cats that will sit on a shelf and knock stuff off just to see what you’ll do. She’ll be 11 years old this year, I think. And she’s as evil today as she was when she was born. Evil. E-V-I-L.

Today is also the anniversary of my 2nd wife’s death. She died during a heart procedure. I’ve made sure she’s had flowers every year since 1987. It was really hard to deal with during the first years, but now I just get a little down. Sometimes I can remember her so clearly it’s like it was yesterday, and other times everything’s fuzzy. I do still miss her. I have a better portrait shot somewhere, I just can’t find it right offhand.

Is it time for a smoke yet?