Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category.

Yuk!!!!

A man enters a cafe and sits down. He notices that the special of the day is cold chili. When the waitress comes to take his order, he says, “I’ll take the cold chili.”

“I’m sorry, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl,” says the waitress.

“Oh, I’ll just have coffee, then.”

After a while the man notices that the guy next to him who got the last bowl of cold chili is finishing a rather large meal and the chili bowl is still full.

He asks, “Are you going to eat that?”

The other man replies, “No.”

“Would you sell it to me?”

“You can have it for free if you want it.”

So the man takes the bowl of chili and begins to eat it. When he gets about half way through the bowl, he notices a dead mouse in the bowl and pukes the chili back into the bowl.

The other man says sympathetically, “That’s about as far as I got, too.”

A Woman’s Poem

Okay, it’s been 8,000,000 years since I posted anything, and I have all these old jokes sitting in my in box, so I thought I’d torture you with them.


A WOMAN’S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

Pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh send a king to make me queen.

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And relish visits with my mother.

==X==

A MAN’S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with

big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.