Homemade Pipe Sweetener

I’ve been asked a couple of times about homemade pipe sweeteners. I just use the commercial sweeteners to clean out my stems, but for the bowl’s, I use a salt/alcohol method. It’s called “The Professor’s Pipe-Sweetening Treatment,” is often referred to as the salt/alcohol method.

I’ve seen variations of this, sometimes adding whiskey, bourbon, or your liquor of choice. Also some with some additional ingredients, but the core science of the method remains the same. A salt and alcohol mix leeches the gunk out of the bowl. There’s some commercial methods that aren’t bad for periodic maintenance, like Arago Pipe Spray, but the salt/alcohol method should be used for heavy duty cleaning to clean out the taste of your pipe, or refurbish a used pipe.

————————————————

This little piece was published in the Pipesmokers’ Welcome Guide 1995, by The Pipesmokers’ Council, London.

The Professor’s Pipe-Sweetening Treatment

Tobacco contains oils. When combustion occurs, some of these oils are released and are deposited on the inside of the bowl, in the existing cake and in the shank of the pipe. In time, the oils mix with oxygen and turn rancid which is one reason for a bitter or sour taste in a pipe. It is the accumulation of these oils that prevents a pipe from delivering a sweet flavourful smoke. They can be dissolved and removed with the Professor’s Treatment, restoring that faithful beauty to the delicious, mouth-watering, nut-like sweetness of a well-seasoned pipe.

1. The first step requires certain materials. You need a box of non-iodized salt easily found in any supermarket and a quantity of pure alcohol. I suggest you have clean rag, facial tissues or paper towels handy to wipe up any errant alcohol lest it dull the bowl finish. Remember, the salt and the alcohol are to be consumed by your pipe so it will smell good, lower your blood pressure and taste sweet. If you consume the salt and alcohol, you will smell bad, raise your high blood pressure and be drunk. And when you sober up, your pipe will still taste like you are smoking cube cut gnu manure.

2. The second step involves preparing the pipe. Empty any dottle remaining in the bowl. Some people prefer to remove the stem and insert a pipe cleaner in the shank during the process. Others leave the stem in place. Find a location where the pipe may be set in a semi-upright position to prevent the salt and alcohol from spilling or leaking over the top of the bowl or running out the shank.

3. Fill the bowl of the pipe with salt all the way to the top. Some believe also filling the shank with salt will maximize the sweetening effect. Others, as stated above, insert a pipe cleaner in the stem to prevent salt from entering. Try it both ways and choose whichever variation gives you the most desirable results.

4. After filling the bowl with salt, it’s time to add the alcohol. This may be done in several ways. One method entails using an eyedropper placing 8 to 10 drops of alcohol on the salt. A second way involves slowly pouring in alcohol, allowing it to rise to the top of the salt filled bowl. A third way has the salt placed in the bowl in a series of 3 to 5 layers with a few drops of alcohol added to each layer. And a fourth method requires filling the bowl about halfway with alcohol and then topping it off to the brim with salt. Again, I suggest you try each method and choose the one you like best. They are all variations on the same theme which is to achieve a desired admixture with which to entice the gods of sweetness to again reside in the chambers of your pipe.

5. This step is always the most difficult part for me because it requires doing nothing. The time necessary for the salt and alcohol potion to do its magic varies from 8 hours to several days. Some advocate that total evaporation of the alcohol must occur before the salt is removed. Others find that total evaporation isn’t necessary. Experiment and see which produces the best results for you. Of course, the more alcohol is added the longer it takes to evaporate. In my experience, I have found that 10 to 15 drops in a bowl full of salt will dry in about 24 hours and result in as much sweetness and good taste as any of the other methods.

6. After waiting the chosen time interval, it is time to remove the salt and any remaining spirits of alcohol. Take a pipe tool and poke through the hard brown/black crust which has formed in the bowl. The darkening results as the rancid tars and oils are drawn out of the cake and into the salt by some mysterious process.

I have found that thicker cakes produce darker salt. I do not recommend removing the cake that you have worked so hard to build. The cake is a product of a cooperative effect between person (puffing) and nature (tobacco) providing protection against burn-out. It also reduces tongue bite and is a significant factor in producing a sweet and mild smoke.

Remove the salt from the bowl by pouring, scraping, brushing, blowing or by throwing it over your left shoulder for good luck. But by all means don’t draw on the pipe before removing all of the discoloured salt.

Run a pipe cleaner through the stem several times to remove any last grains of salt. Salt often lurks in the cave-like darkness of the stem hoping to ambush unsuspecting taste buds as you comfortably sit back and draw your first long anticipated puff of angels breath.

7. Assuming you have followed the steps listed above pretty much in order, allowing for one or two variations of style, your pipe is ready to smoke. Fill it with your favourite tobacco and prepare yourself for an exciting, pleasurable smoking experience.

————————————————

You can’t get pure alcohol (grain alcohol) in the state of Washington, so I ended up using 99% alcohol from the drugstore, and allowing the alcohol a little more time to evaporate.

There’s another method using boiling alcohol, but considering my klutz factor, I’ll bypass that method for now.

I just use the commercially available disinfectant-type pipe sweeteners in my stems by wetting a pipe cleaner, running it through the stem a couple of times, then running a dry pipe cleaner behind it.

Hope that helps!

Tags: , , , ,

12 Responses to “Homemade Pipe Sweetener”

  1. [...] JackTales Stories and blather by Jack « Homemade Pipe Sweetener [...]

  2. DeadMensPipes says:

    “You can’t get pure alcohol (grain alcohol) in the state of Washington.”

    Au contrare, Jack.
    You may special order grain alcohol from state liquor stores by obtaining a permit and stating that it will be used for cleaning/commercial purposes and not for drinking. If you don’t want to go that route, there is some very high, 150 proof vodka available at selected state liquor stores. Just ask.

    Hope that helps.

  3. Jack says:

    When I went into the local stores, they didn’t explain the process of getting a special permit, just that you needed one, and then gave me the evil eye.

    Thanks for the correction!

    By the way, I’m glad DeadMansPipes is back in business. Folks, you can find the website at, well, http://www.deadmanspipes.com

    I bought a number of pipes from the old owner, and I like the way it’s organized, especially in these days of careful spending.

  4. Yes, deadmanspipes.com is a good site. Their inventory was depleted last time I checked.
    DeadMensPipes.com is under construction and only sells on ebay now.

    BTW: Word has it that you may obtain 150 proof vodka off the shelf without a permit at the Ballard and University state liquor stores.

    And, thanks for that pipe-sweetening recipe.
    Great for rejuvenating old estate pipes.
    I haven’t found anything better on the whole web.

  5. For some reason i’m getting a blank page once i make an effort to post a comment,do you recognize the reason its occurring?i’m utilizing oprea web-browser

  6. Miltiades says:

    Mixture consisting of 70 % whisky and 30 % rum is my way sweetening the pipes but still i dont know the intervals between each sweetening process?
    Can you advise pls
    My best regards
    Miltiades
    Athens Greece

    • Jack says:

      I guess it would depend on how frequently you smoked that particular pipe. I rotate pipes, but I smoke several bowls out of one daily, and use a commercial sweetener to clean out the stem once each day when I’ve finished with the pipe. This helps cleans the gunk out, and won’t hurt the stem. Others just use a pipe cleaner daily, and then sweeten, I dunno, maybe once a week, once a month.

      It’s like reaming my pipe. I don’t do it on a regular basis, but I know when it needs to be done.

  7. Eric says:

    I use Everclear, this is grain alcohol sold at 75.5 and 95% alcohol. I wouldn’t drink it, but excellent in pipe restoration/cleaning. I actually do some deep cleaning once a month, never done a salt-treatment yet; I reserve that for when the smoke/flavor becomes off.

    I just run a few cleaners with alcohol inside the bowel of the pipe also once a month along with the stem; it seems to sweeten the pipe pretty effectively. If it starts ghosting bad, smelling off, or tasting off; I will do the full salt treatment.

  8. Well Jack,
    You certainly have come up with quite a solution, however that kind of drunk would make for one tremendous hangover. Thanx for your invention, you should have it patent, unless someone hasn’t already stolen your idea.
    Many blessings to you and your loved ones, and may you continue to prosper!!
    Sgt.Sal

  9. Good Day,
    I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind putting this into a recipe format, by cups and ounces. Maybe you did and i just missed it but i couldn’t find anything, and i would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time and your patience. Many blessings to you and your loved ones.
    SuperSniperSal

  10. Jack says:

    Cups and ounces? Whoa! See, this is where my wife is convinced I’m going to end up blowing myself into smithereens in my garage.

    First, if I misunderstood your misunderstanding, then I apologize. Of course, it’s 2:30 am, and I can’t sleep, so take that into consideration.

    The Professor’s recipe, in a really simplified explanation, is using alcohol and salt to pull tar and nicotine out of the inside of the bowl of your pipe. There’s another way to do it using boiling alcohol with a device called a pipe retort. I have a video of it up on YouTube somewhere.

    Back to that whole alcohol content thing; with the salt evaporation method of cleaning the inside of a bowl, the higher the alcohol content, the better. But in Washington state, I ran into a snag trying to buy 100% alcohol like the original concoction suggested, which is where all that mix and match talk started.

    If my pipes are so skanky that reaming them doesn’t help, I actually use the retort method, but I have been restoring some really old handmade pipes I’ve found in antique shops. Since they’d never survive the boiling alcohol required for a pipe retort, I use the salt and alcohol method several times.

Leave a Reply