Archive for October 2008

Obama’s Loss Traced To Jack Huster

New Burnt Meerschaum Pipe

3317aI got a new burnt meerschaum pipe. I thought you might like to look at the finish. I got it from AAA

I’ve been thinking about buying something from AAA for some time. I like the way they give all the pipe dimensions, including depth. I bought a lovely Peterson once. The picture looked great, but there were no listed dimensions. The problem was, when the pipe came, it was dinky. I’d say I could put my pinky in the bowl, and I couldn’t fit my whole nail only in there. I know some people like that sort of thing, but it wasn’t what I was going for.

I’m very happy with the pipe. It’s got an interesting finish. I’ve never owned a burnt meerschaum. It’s got a lot of fudge room for me to mess up, but not show horrible disfigurement. Although, as you might imagine, I have already managed to drop it once. This is from the same guy who managed to set his fingers on fire before, so don’t act surprised.

The pipe is already coloring nicely, good fit on the stem, just all around nice. I know there are fancier meerschaums (duh), but I wanted something simple I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about actually smoking.

Anyway, I hope you like it. Well, actually, I don’t care if you like it or not, but I do, and that’s all that’s important.

Oh, and new gravatar!

This is not a pipe.

Looks like shit at 36×36, but it looks very nice at 80×80.

Zippo Wick Trick

Actually, it’s not a trick, but even if waving around your Zippo won’t help it light, check the wick.

When the wick becomes black from carbon, pull it up with pliers (or tweezers if you have a good grip) until the clean wick appears. Cut the wick even with the top of the chimney, then straighten wick in chimney. Because there’s a cap on the top of the pipe lighter insert of the Zippo, you may need to trim it a bit before pulling up the wick, since there’s no way to access it from the top and you’ll have to pull it up from the side. Make sure you can still grab what remains of the wick with your pliers or tweezers. Cut off too much, and you’ll have to disassemble the Zippo to feed the wick up again.

The wick is replaceable. Not all tobacco stores stock them, so you may have to order them online.

To replace the wick, remove insert. Unscrew the flint spring, taking care to hold spring and screw firmly when screw is released. Remove felt pad and set aside. Using tweezers, remove all packing from fuel chamber. Insert a new wick downward through chimney, pulling through with tweezers. Replace packing in small pieces, interweaving the wick between the packing. Replace felt pad, flint and flint spring and screw. Tighten screw completely, so the lighter will close correctly. Cut the wick even with the top of the chimney, then straighten wick in chimney.

Somehow my old Zippo insert’s wick worked for 20 years or so, and it wasn’t until I replaced the insert with a pipe lighter, that I had some troubles. Works like the dickens now.

Household Items for Pipes

In addition to specialized pipe tools and supplies, I keep a small supply of household items I’ve used before to maintain or repair my pipes. Some of these I used once, others more frequently. These include:

  • Non-Iodized salt and as pure alcohol as you can get (150 proof or 75% minimum), for the pipe sweetener recipe.
  • Toothbrush for scrubbing out pipes without destroying cake or for cleaning out meerschaums without damaging them. I sawed my toothbrush from both ends. Cutting the extra plastic off of the brush side allows the brush to be able to scrub all the way to the bottom of the pipe. Make sure to round off the edges after cutting the toothbrush, as you don’t want a ridge scraped into your bowl.
  • Clear nail polish to apply to loose stems and fine sandpaper for tight stems.
  • Facial tissue for wiping out pipes. You can also keep around rags or paper towels.
  • Q-tips which are great for the gunk inside the shank. Sure you can scrub it, but it doesn’t drag out all the goop that lives in there.
  • Microfiber cloth for applying Paragon or Halycon wax. You can also apply Briar Pipe Wipe with the cloth, but don’t use the same cloth for both. Of course, if you have a buffing wheel, use it instead with some Carnuba wax.
  • Bleach for refurbishing extremely oxidized pipe stems. Don’t let the stem sit in the bleach more than an hour. Safer still, you can use “rubbing” compounds available in your local auto parts store (Turtle Wax or Simoniz).
  • Superglue for careful repair of meerschaum cracks.
  • Alcohol wipe to wipe out the insides of meerschaums. The wipe should be squeezed out of excess alcohol before cleaning. Do not get any of the alcohol on the outside of the pipe! Before you complain, there’s a dozen ways “recommended” to clean the inside of meerschaum bowls. A little aftershave, antibacterial wipes, the list goes on, including the alcohol wipes. My reasoning is thus; the alcohol will evaporate making the inside more porous. The more porous, the more absorbent the pipe. Of course, I could be full of bull-dooky.
  • I’ve used high heat non-toxic silicone aquarium seal for when I burned out chunks of the inside of a pipe. I found one that was rated to 400 degrees. If you think this is insane, you can mix cigar ashes and a very small amount of water to make a mud, and use this “putty” to fill the holes. I did not have luck with this at all, which is why I had to resort to an alternate method. Smoking slower prevents the damage in the first place, which I did eventually learn.
  • No matter how tempting, do not use a pocket knife to ream out your pipe bowl. Pocket knives are handy for a lot of things, but nothing I can think of involving your pipe.
  • Compressed air. Use a single extremely short burst from the inside of the shank if you want to blow dottle wedged in the pipe hole. Don’t use long or multiple bursts as these result in extreme cold air freezing the surfaces it contacts.

This is just a list of some non-specialized items I’ve used for maintaining or repairing my pipes. If you have anything to add, I’d like to hear it.

Homemade Pipe Sweetener

I’ve been asked a couple of times about homemade pipe sweeteners. I just use the commercial sweeteners to clean out my stems, but for the bowl’s, I use a salt/alcohol method. It’s called “The Professor’s Pipe-Sweetening Treatment,” is often referred to as the salt/alcohol method.

I’ve seen variations of this, sometimes adding whiskey, bourbon, or your liquor of choice. Also some with some additional ingredients, but the core science of the method remains the same. A salt and alcohol mix leeches the gunk out of the bowl. There’s some commercial methods that aren’t bad for periodic maintenance, like Arago Pipe Spray, but the salt/alcohol method should be used for heavy duty cleaning to clean out the taste of your pipe, or refurbish a used pipe.


This little piece was published in the Pipesmokers’ Welcome Guide 1995, by The Pipesmokers’ Council, London.

The Professor’s Pipe-Sweetening Treatment

Tobacco contains oils. When combustion occurs, some of these oils are released and are deposited on the inside of the bowl, in the existing cake and in the shank of the pipe. In time, the oils mix with oxygen and turn rancid which is one reason for a bitter or sour taste in a pipe. It is the accumulation of these oils that prevents a pipe from delivering a sweet flavourful smoke. They can be dissolved and removed with the Professor’s Treatment, restoring that faithful beauty to the delicious, mouth-watering, nut-like sweetness of a well-seasoned pipe.

1. The first step requires certain materials. You need a box of non-iodized salt easily found in any supermarket and a quantity of pure alcohol. I suggest you have clean rag, facial tissues or paper towels handy to wipe up any errant alcohol lest it dull the bowl finish. Remember, the salt and the alcohol are to be consumed by your pipe so it will smell good, lower your blood pressure and taste sweet. If you consume the salt and alcohol, you will smell bad, raise your high blood pressure and be drunk. And when you sober up, your pipe will still taste like you are smoking cube cut gnu manure.

2. The second step involves preparing the pipe. Empty any dottle remaining in the bowl. Some people prefer to remove the stem and insert a pipe cleaner in the shank during the process. Others leave the stem in place. Find a location where the pipe may be set in a semi-upright position to prevent the salt and alcohol from spilling or leaking over the top of the bowl or running out the shank.

3. Fill the bowl of the pipe with salt all the way to the top. Some believe also filling the shank with salt will maximize the sweetening effect. Others, as stated above, insert a pipe cleaner in the stem to prevent salt from entering. Try it both ways and choose whichever variation gives you the most desirable results.

4. After filling the bowl with salt, it’s time to add the alcohol. This may be done in several ways. One method entails using an eyedropper placing 8 to 10 drops of alcohol on the salt. A second way involves slowly pouring in alcohol, allowing it to rise to the top of the salt filled bowl. A third way has the salt placed in the bowl in a series of 3 to 5 layers with a few drops of alcohol added to each layer. And a fourth method requires filling the bowl about halfway with alcohol and then topping it off to the brim with salt. Again, I suggest you try each method and choose the one you like best. They are all variations on the same theme which is to achieve a desired admixture with which to entice the gods of sweetness to again reside in the chambers of your pipe.

5. This step is always the most difficult part for me because it requires doing nothing. The time necessary for the salt and alcohol potion to do its magic varies from 8 hours to several days. Some advocate that total evaporation of the alcohol must occur before the salt is removed. Others find that total evaporation isn’t necessary. Experiment and see which produces the best results for you. Of course, the more alcohol is added the longer it takes to evaporate. In my experience, I have found that 10 to 15 drops in a bowl full of salt will dry in about 24 hours and result in as much sweetness and good taste as any of the other methods.

6. After waiting the chosen time interval, it is time to remove the salt and any remaining spirits of alcohol. Take a pipe tool and poke through the hard brown/black crust which has formed in the bowl. The darkening results as the rancid tars and oils are drawn out of the cake and into the salt by some mysterious process.

I have found that thicker cakes produce darker salt. I do not recommend removing the cake that you have worked so hard to build. The cake is a product of a cooperative effect between person (puffing) and nature (tobacco) providing protection against burn-out. It also reduces tongue bite and is a significant factor in producing a sweet and mild smoke.

Remove the salt from the bowl by pouring, scraping, brushing, blowing or by throwing it over your left shoulder for good luck. But by all means don’t draw on the pipe before removing all of the discoloured salt.

Run a pipe cleaner through the stem several times to remove any last grains of salt. Salt often lurks in the cave-like darkness of the stem hoping to ambush unsuspecting taste buds as you comfortably sit back and draw your first long anticipated puff of angels breath.

7. Assuming you have followed the steps listed above pretty much in order, allowing for one or two variations of style, your pipe is ready to smoke. Fill it with your favourite tobacco and prepare yourself for an exciting, pleasurable smoking experience.


You can’t get pure alcohol (grain alcohol) in the state of Washington, so I ended up using 99% alcohol from the drugstore, and allowing the alcohol a little more time to evaporate.

There’s another method using boiling alcohol, but considering my klutz factor, I’ll bypass that method for now.

I just use the commercially available disinfectant-type pipe sweeteners in my stems by wetting a pipe cleaner, running it through the stem a couple of times, then running a dry pipe cleaner behind it.

Hope that helps!